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Thursday, June 16th, 2005
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1:10 pm
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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7:37 pm
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yo, we're doneeeeeeeeeeee
congrats everyone
dysfunctional family^ on the last day :)
and my absolute fave threesome
peace
<3 amie
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
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4:40 pm
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well well wellll....... mays basically over. this month went by too too too fast. like my previous entries im scared shitless of college and what lies ahead. i reallly wish i could turnnn back time to the start of this semester (noo not first semester with hon calc and ap phys= death) but this easy semester. its been gooooood times the whole way through. ive done a lot of stupid things especially toward people that i wish i could change and dont have the balls to just walk up and say hey im sorry lets forget it happened... good for me. eh well. lots of disappointment and regret along with good times with many to follow. i basically havae 3.5 more months here which is actually a lot to spend time with everyone before i move but itll be different without school forcing us all to socialize. then theres those aquaintences who i just say hi to as i walk by that i never really hang out with buttt i still will miss. but going back to what i was previously talking about... the negative things that havae happened will always overshadow the positive. there were good times with silverton, dance parties, sex and the city nights, ashland, beanery club hoppin, prom* etc. but my fuckups with friends, guys, family, substances and REGRET just still stand out. goddamnit. at least ive kept my grades up which is swell. im going back to my terrible old habits of freshman/soph year... basically only stef knows bout these but i guess theyre not that terrible... only teachers want us to think so. well whatever helps ease the anxiety is a good thing? haha many would disagree. i just want to write out everything i want to say to everyone righ there on lj but that would be uberly dumb... oh well.
i dont want to go to college. at all.
and i will end with a couple very emo quotes that are significant of this time
"As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change,
Come whatever
We will still be, friends forever"
and
"i dont care if it hurts
i want to have control
i want a perfect body
i want a perfect soul
i want you to notice
when im not around
i wish i was special
youre so fucking special"
peace
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 28th, 2005
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11:44 am
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1. First grade teacher's name: mrs. harris
2. Last person you kissed: ehh
3. Last word you said: uh i dont remember.... im home alone with no one to talk to
4. Last song you sang: take your mama out
5. Last person you hugged: mi madre
6. Last thing you laughed at: prolly something on hope and faith last night
8. What's in your CD player: scissor sisters
9. What socks are you wearing: none
10. What's under your bed: a rugby ball, a wheres waldo book, magazines and an album
12. Current taste: fruit (i just made afruit salad)
13. Current hair style: brown and long ish
14. Current clothes: hottness clothes... sweats and a shirt woot
15. Current Job: professional bum
16. Current longing: hah honestly to be with ____ immeeediatley <3
17. Current desktop picture: a collage of friends
18. Current worry: effin lit project... ugh
19. Current hate: social climbers
20. Story behind your username: eh when i lived in japan they added chan to the end of ever little girl's name so i was ame-chan which is like amiechan then my fave #'s 6 and 23 is the day i was born in may
21. Current favorite article of clothing: hah i dont know... a bra?
22. Favorite physical feature(s) of the opposite sex: face
23. Last CD that you bought: jack johnson, in between dreams
24. Favorite place to be: french riviera
25. Least favorite place: CANADA UGHHH
26. Time you wake up in the morning: 10:30
27. If you could play a new instrument, what would it be?: drums
29. Current favorite word/saying: immediately (jeez thats sure been passed around a shitload of people)
30. Favorite book: memoirs of a geisha
31. Favorite Movies: american history x
32. Favorite Songs: radiohead- creep, pete yorn- for nancy
34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: roxannneee
35. Favorite day: saturday
36. Where do you want to go: french riveria
37. What is your career going to be: oh jeez dont get me started
39. What kind of car will you have: a vw bus
41. A random lyric: ive got sunshinee on a cloudy dayyy
42. Eye Color: eh brown...
43. Hair Color: brown yet again
44. Righty or Lefty: righty
45. Zodiac Sign: gemini
46.Innie or Outtie: innie
DESCRIBE...
47. Your heritage: malay, chinese, canadian, swedish, scottish, irish, english
48. The shoes you wore today: havent put on any shoes yet
49. Your hair: gotten too lazy to do anything to it so its just long and wavy
50. Your weakness: a beautiful face
51. Your fears: snakes
53. Your most recent secret?: uh secret.... meanin not gonna tell
54. Your thoughts first waking up: i dont think
55. The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: nose/lips
56. Your bedtime: usually like 12
57. Your most missed companion: roxannee
58. Your perfect pizza: american dream with olives and artichoke hearts
59. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: eh i dont know
60. Single or group dates: prolly group mos tof the time cuz i get way too hella nervous on single
61. Dogs or Cats: cats
62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither
63. Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
64. Cappuccino or Drip: cappuccino
DO YOU...
65. Smoke: eh no not really
66. Curse: effin hell
67. Sing: eh wehn in the car and shower
68. Take a shower everyday: well... most of the time unless i get lazzzyy
69. Have a crush: yesss
71. Think you've been in love: nopee
72. Want to go to college: ehh not really
73. Want more than what you’ve got: eh no im quite content at the moment... cept maybe like a better body and looks and everything
75. Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yes
76. Think you're attractive: well if i did i wouldn t be askin for a better bod etc
77. Think you’re a health freak: hah no
78. Get along with your parents: ehhh my mom
79. Play an instrument: pianoo
IN THE PAST 3 MONTHS:
80. drink: water... yes
81. Smoke: ehh yes
82. Done a drug:hah yes
83. Made Out: yes
84. Go on a date: nope
85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
86. Eaten sushi: yes
87. Been dumped: no
88. Made homemade cookies: yes
89. Been in love: eh no
90. Gone skinny dipping: silverton
91. Dyed your hair: yea
92. Stolen anything: nosereee
HAVE YOU EVER..
93. Had too much to drink: nope
94. Been caught cheating: nope
95. Been called a tease: nopeee
96. Gotten beaten up: eh by my bro?
97. Changed who you were to fit in? i wanted to but never quite worked... so now its just me
98. Cried at something beautiful: yes
99. Spent too much money on something you didn’t need: the story of my life
100. Cried when someone died: my gparents
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 26th, 2005
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11:20 pm - pics and whatnot
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| Monday, May 23rd, 2005
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4:43 pm - wowww best birthday everrrr...
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so much for the birthday blues...
thanks to my wonderful friends and fam... i had a unexpectedly GREAT birthday :)
so im just gonna gloat about how great they are just for a sec
well... saturday i got a car (THANK YOU FAM) i was aiming for a new toyota corolla... well ehh thats sure not what i got... :) much much better. first car to bring down to SAN DIEGO. haha im soo hella pumped and well i mean how could you NOT get super estatico gettin a NEW CAR
thenn sunday went to the coast. gracias to EVERYONE out there that was there for making it a grrrreattt time. being at the beach... sunset... quest for a effin lighter... too many hot dogs ohh man good times (too bad no jon and roeser). it was very fun
annnd todayyyy (actual bday) i come home... andnnnddnndnd go to my roooommmmm.... anndd ITS COVERED IN BALLOONS AND STREAMERS!!! i was like hoooley shhmooelley...and started tearing up i was so happy... thanks to alex and ben. its truely wonderful. it basically topped off these wonderful three days. i did not expect that and it just i dont know it was really sweet of them and thoughtful. tear... i could not ask for ANYTHING else. ill post pics later
so basically thank you everyone. i honestly havent had a memorable birtday since FIFTH GRADE. yeah. long ass time... and well thank you for making my 18th memorable and fab
love always
amie
current mood:  surprised/happy
current music: jack johnson- do you remember
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
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10:46 pm - its all turned out for the betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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| Monday, May 9th, 2005
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9:18 pm
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| Sunday, May 8th, 2005
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5:44 pm - i want you for you... not because you have a voice like pavarotti or that you are such a hottie
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today i am sick
this is a break from my bowing to the porcelain god
Three names you go by:
1. Amelia
2. Amie
3. Ame (pronounced ah-may by mother)
Three screen names you have:
1. amiechan666
2. stonedamethaine
3. ehh thats all
Three things you like about yourself:
1. i love my family
2. i accept things as God's will when they dont turn out
3. i can make stirfry out of anything
Three things you dislike about yourself:
1. i fall for people quickly
2. it takes me a long time to get over someone
3. i give up quickly
Three parts of your heritage:
1. malaysian
2. canadian
3. swedish
Three things that scare you:
1. flunkin outta colleg
2. snakes
3. having no one to go to for help
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. my shirt
2. my bra
3. my pants
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. oxford sweatshirt
2. rugby sweats
3. white tank
Three of your favorite bands/artists:
1. ehhh i dunno... brain fried at the moment
2.
3.
Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. comfortably numb- scissor sisters
2. amie!- damien rice
3. i'll never break your heart- bsb
Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. surviving college
2. accepting myself :)
3. loving
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. trust
2. compassion
3. friendship
Two truths and a lie:
1. i hate this shit (i agree with kindra)
2.
3.
Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
1. beautiful eyes
2. beautiful nose
3. beautiful lips
Three things you just can't do:
1. make friends with girls easily
2. drink alcoholic beverages
3. watch injections
Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. making peyote style beaded necklaces
3. cooking
Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. kill someone
2. cry
3. leave
Three careers you're considering:
1. bioengineer
2. dr
3. southern cal beach bum
Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. spain
2. indonesia
3. chile
Three kids names: for either a boy or girl:
1. maya
2. adrienne
3. dominic
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. love
2. live in malaysia
3. open a scuba shop
Three people who have to take this quiz now:
1. anybody who wants to
2.
3.
well that one was massively boring
current mood:  sad
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 6th, 2005
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3:19 pm - college-y updatey
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ok not that anyone really cares that much but im gonna give you my lowdown on my colleges
by now bascially everyone has chosen but me... tight
so there are the 3 choices that i have paid the deposit for... so basically they all think im coming but ill just have to belike ohhh i was just kidding... later
1.University of California San Diego
oh i love sandiego love it love it loveit. i mean its southern cal what more could i ask for? the sun the surf etc. this is where i wanted to go even before i even chose a major and once i chose it "prebioengineering-premed" i found out that ucsd has the second best biomedical engineering graduate school in the nation... big plus. annnndd due to my father's rigorous research of where all the bioengineering stuff is goin down like places to work.... san diego is excellentttt. so then... sounds perfect butt.. well ok theres a long ass story to this. so basically a while back i got REJECTED. i cried and cried and cried... i mean according to #'s like sats etc i should have gotten in (but then again 40,000 applied and 3,900 were accepted w/ only like 3% out of state). so i didnt know where to go. i wanted ucsd so bad. thenn after visiting ucd and ucsc (both i wasnt 100% happy with) i got AN ACCEPTANCE LETTER! i was like wtfff.. but i was sooo FLIPPIN happy. i thanked God for this because i mean how often does a rejected come followed with an acceptance? divine intervention there. anyway so its like go online blablabla to check al lthis stuff and it says it accepted me NOT for fall 2005 but for winter 2006!!! wtf. i mean like then i was like awesome im not smart enough for fall? meaning id have to go to osu for one qtr then move down? sucky sucky sucky. plus i dont like explainin this whole situation to friends its kind of i dunno shameful>? thenn we get a letter saying that they effed up and being put in winter wasnt due to academics at all blablabla. well thats a plus. THEN TODAY i got an email saying i was transferred to FALL 2005 oh thank god. haha so now im happy AND in muir college :) happiness. so bascially theres like a 85% chance im goin here. oh and one more con- bioengineering? hard core. am i gonnna flunk out completely? possibly
2. Barnard College- Columbia University
well. new york city baby. i love it love it love it. just a subway ride from just bout anywhere. everyones so flippin cool lookin and trendy adn ehm HOT! so barnard's all girls but its right across the street from columbia and i could if i wanted to take 100% of my classes there... woahh amie and ivy league... never thought of those 2 together. even though i wouldnt technically be goin there. plus i mean theyre so close that there's no lack of interaction with guys big plus. however from what i saw, barnard seemed to be a school with many very wealthy very motivated girls... ehhh scary but i suppose icould handle it. it has this small school appeal that theyll take care of me and i def will succeed if i go there... and wont let me fail. plus no hardcore engineering but instead biology.... but its soo effin far away. east coasters are def dif from west coasters. and crappy weather in ny... but way more prestigious..hm. oh and one MASSIVE crappy point.... NO MERIT SCHOLARSHIPS. not really gettin fin aid... and theyre like yeah we only do fin aid... oh well maybe 13% chance of goin there
3. Bryn Mawr College (near Philadelphia)
eh. well bryn mawr is like 11 miles outside of philly so i was like ok so its in a small town but close to big city- perfect. butttt i dont really like philly. its nice drivin in with huge buildings and whatnot but its got all these sketchy areas (or maybe not many at all but i had the bad luck of drivin thru them) and i dunno not to swell. then drivin into bryn mawr the first car dealership was a maserati and ferrari dealership.... followed by jaguar and imlike what the hell. well it is a verrrry affluent community. massive brick old lookin houses and imlike hollly shmoollleey... SO i go to the college which is kind of secluded yet within 15 mins of other colleges like haveford swarthmore villanova etc. so lots of students in area. it was very small and the girls were rather chunky and looked rather dyke-ish. kinda alternative lookin and im like eh. if i do decide to really pursue premed its got an 85% acceptance rate to med school (in comparison to ucsd's measley 52% but id be doin engineering there anway). didnt feel like i belonged there. close private school feeling... 2% chance of goin there
hah
so theres the lowdown
looks like ucsd tho...
peaceout
current mood: ecstatic
current music: carpenters- yesterday once more
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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12:33 am
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youre also being massively loserish
trying to look cool isnt working
i liked you the way you are
no need to change
half of amie sticker of approval taken away
current music: scissor sisters- mary
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 5th, 2005
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4:29 pm - hello... is there anybody in there? just nod if you can hear meeee
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ugh=today
despite frequent rantings to my compadres to release some of these pent up feelings.... this week has sucked
real bad. i hope therell be a shift in feeling somewhat soon because i dont want to leave cv thinkin i wont miss anyone... cuz thats how i feel right about now. i dont mean this to be some oh no one loves me entry so that everyone will reply and be like thats not truee.. im just ugh not feelin the swellest due to blatant statments regarding the friendship that people feel toward me
people have been writin a lot of depressin entries lately... maybe its the up and down of the weather... ive effed up too many times. one second you the other its him then her than ugh. i cant believe its almost been a year since day 1 of oxford. i remember this time last year i was sendin in my application and whatnot... not knowing whta would follow in that month. even if i knew i dont think i could entirely encompass the enormity of the effect that it would have on me. sounds so cliche eh? go on exchange ish come back with a new view on life...
ouch i still cant get over that. i got really upset. if i say it hurt then yeah... it did. fuck this ill go do something productive
catchin up after missin one week is a bitch
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
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3:03 pm
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i guess some are just not the way i thought
hurts
a lot
spaghetti gets on clothes
that isnt that bad for you
it wasnt that gross
his clothes made my car stink
madness
fallin back
i think so
settling
noway jose
and
i hate it when you analyze me
stop
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 1st, 2005
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4:44 pm
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i hope it rains
my car really needs a washing
she had a rock on her finger about the size of three coffee beans... glued together
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 24th, 2005
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3:59 pm
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| Friday, April 22nd, 2005
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11:32 pm - and so it is just like you said it would be
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several times already i have sat down to write a good ol lengthy entry...
then... nothing
like right now theres nothing to talk bout
either its stuff i did today that has no real relevance
or my feelings right now are so mild that i dont have the motivation to describe them
or theyre way to extreme about certain people that thatd not be a good idea to broadcast on lj
so
hm
basically
all im thinkin is about
what college
i have like one week to sign the rest of my life away
its a scary thought
i cant imagine any other time in my life when ill have this many opportunities at once
oh god
bear with me for a while here
i may seem strung out and freaked
sorry for being so stand offish this week
i apologize
i cant say i will stop being like this
but ill try harder to be diff
and not be close one day adn distant the other
i wish i lived in cali
like grew up there
i wish i never quit ballet
i wish i played piano more
i wish i documented more of my life in my journal
i wish i told my grandma that i loved her more
i wish i didnt waste my first weekn in oxford being depressed
i wish i didnt shaft my old friends when i moved back
i wish i stayed in contact with aba friends
i wish i spent more time with roxy
i wish i ate more veges
i wish i spent less money
i wish i appreciated oregon
i wish i never painted my nails
i wish i went fishing more
i wish i cared bout what i wanted instead of what others wanted more
i wish i could love myself inside and out
i wish i studied harder
i wish i made a copy of that uc application
i wish i wasnt so obsessed with food
i wish i could do the splits
i wish i never bruised my nose
i wish i wasnt so jealous
i wish i wasnt so jealous of even my friends
i wish i could just be content all the time
i wish i never started chewin coffee beans
i wish i told martha how much she was there for me
i wish i wasnt afraid of getting too close
i wish i could just say what was on my mind
i wish i didnt pick my scabs
i wish i wasnt such weak sauce when it comes to teary movies
i wish i wasnt so damn picky
i wish i had a close relationshp with my dad
i wish i could run really fast
i wish i had smaller hands and feet
i wish i had bigger eyes
i wish i didnt hope to get sick so my mom would pay attention
i wish i could sing really well
i wish i could get on stage and people would clap
this is really therapeutic
im gonna start doin this more often!!! woot!
haha peace
current mood:  contemplative
current music: red hot chilli peppers -zephyr song
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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11:11 pm
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well i just have to comment
i had a swell convo with justin just now
brings back good memories of oxford
ahh
makes me happy
some day
i swear
we will
when i come down to la
peace!
current mood: happy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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7:27 pm
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| Monday, April 18th, 2005
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4:03 pm
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life is fabulous
prom was excellent if i may say so myslef
weed was a lil strong and embarassed myself but good
happiness
love you all
current mood: happy
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, April 15th, 2005
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10:36 am - california here we come...
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heres some pond in uc davis
the ocean in santa cruz
i <3 cali
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(comment on this)
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amiechan623's journal
